Weird, funny & viral stuff on the net

Here’s two of the funniest sites on the net today…

www.engrish.com - go to the ’signs’ tab - you’ll wee, I guarantee

http://icanhascheezburger.com you’ll wee even more. In fact, you’ll need Tena Lady

Anyway, onto a random bit of silliness and I was recently asked to describe what makes the perfect husband. Here’s my response…

So, just what makes the ‘perfect husband’? Well the fact is, in order to qualify as the perfect husband a man must behave as if he were a pair of slippers, a handbag or a dog. 

The perfect ‘slipper’ husband is one who will stay in a cupboard until he’s required then go back in when his wife’s done with him. He should make it his raison d’être to make his wife more comfortable and should be at her feet at all times.  

When traveling, he shouldn’t use up much of the baggage allowance and should be happy to give his wife’s fancy shoes the majority of the space in the wardrobe. Furthermore, he shouldn’t cost much to buy but should be hardwearing and give long service.  

The ‘handbag’ husband should carry all his wife’s stuff around, look good on her arm and sit quietly at his wife’s side when socializing. He should carry money to be taken at will by his wife and always have breath mints. He’ll likewise always have a clean tissue and finally, he’ll be happy to be one of many handbags so that his wife may swap and change as it suits her. 

The perfect ‘dog’ husband is one who will display loyalty, devotion and never answer back. He should be prepared to wash outside so that he doesn’t mess up the bathroom and he should be able to lick his own genitals to save his wife having to do it. 

He’ll also be delighted to see his wife whenever she comes home and will have his own bed so that he doesn’t take up valuable bed space that his wife could better utilize. He should be prepared to come to heel on command and fetch the newspaper in off the porch on a daily basis. 

So, that’s how men can achieve perfect husband status… there should be some sort of manual they can refer to really.

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